IELTS Essays – Band 8

IELTS Writing – samples of IELTS essays of Band 8

IELTS essay, topic: People should not work beyond the retirement age (agree/disagree)

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

In recent years, with the improvement in healthcare sector and better , people are able to live longer and contribute to the economic progress of a nation more, compared to the past. Some see this as an entirely positive development, while others point out the drawbacks of working beyond the retirement age.

Delaying retirement enables individuals to actively contribute to the society. On a personal level, working past retirement age provides an avenue for individuals to remain not only physically but also mentally active. Moreover, this option empowers the ageing population to be financially independent and economically self-sustainable past retirement age. In countries with growing ageing population such as Singapore, for instance, citizens are given an option to work beyond their retirement age based on the demands of their job and their capability to handle these tasks. Hence, working beyond retirement age empowers workers, ensures economic progression of the nation, and alleviates the challenges faced by an ageing population.

On the flip side, working beyond the retirement age may result in adverse health impacts on workers and a decrease in productivity levels. In Japan, the suicide rates have recently been increasing due to rising stress levels at work faced by the ageing population who are pushed to work beyond their optimal capacity. Escalating stress levels from work to various health complications putting a strain on the healthcare system. Hence, working beyond retirement age may worsen the overall welfare of individuals and adversely impact the economy.

To sum up, though working beyond retirement age health hazards leading to reduction in productivity levels, it seems to me that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. In my opinion, by assessing the capability of individuals and tailoring their jobs to their health profile, firms and companies should actively involve their workers to be productive beyond their retirement age.

This essay is an excellent example of IELTS Band 8 writing. The author presents sound arguments making his/her point of view very clear, examples are being used to support the writer’s points and the organisation of information is handled very well. There are some minor inaccuracies, however, they wouldn’t affect the score much in the real test. Well done!

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use ‘standards of living’ instead
the correct verb form here is ‘lead’ because it refers to ‘stress levels’
it is better to say ‘may impose’ because the outcome is not 100% certain

IELTS essay, topic: The proportion of older people is increasing, what problems will this cause and what solutions can be suggested?

In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

It is true that nowadays people in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences to this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.

As people live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more people of retirement age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller, and governments will therefore receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the population. In other words, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden working adults. Further pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and the adults will increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives.

There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above. Firstly, a simple solution would be to increase the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people of this age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. A second measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the number of working adults who pay taxes. Finally, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent vital healthcare, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising numbers of senior citizens.

In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the populations of countries grow older.

This essay covers the task requirements, however some problems of aging population get only a brief mention. The linking of sentences in the second body paragraph is somewhat ‘mechanical’ and could have been improved. Information sequencing and organisation in paragraphs are done well. The range of vocabulary and the fluency of its use, as well as lack of errors are impressive. Overall, this is a good example of how to get Band 8 without writing a very long essay.

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‘on’ is more suitable here
fact that young (‘that’ is necessary here for linking)
‘on’ is more suitable here