IELTS Essays – Band 8

IELTS Writing – samples of IELTS essays of Band 8

IELTS Essay, topic: Teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents (agree/disagree)

School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that educators have greater responsibility developing students’ cognitive and social aspects compared to parents. I absolutely agree with this notion, as teachers are well-trained to teach formal lessons. Aside from that, school is the best place for children to socialize and .

It is known for a fact that parents play a vital role in the upbringing of their . Nevertheless, educating them at home alone does not always mean leading them to a bright future. For this reason, it is extremely important that children be given a formal education. This is when school teachers come into play. Apart from providing a conducive learning environment, most schools constantly update their faculty with various contemporary methods of teaching through seminars and trainings. This approach has long been practiced in order to ensure students can cope with technological advancements. Furthermore, practical exercises and laboratory experiments significantly help increase their problem-solving, logical thinking, and reasoning abilities.

With regard to social aspect, it is also at school where youngsters learn to interact with peers. Apart from their daily classroom interactions, varied extracurricular activities are likewise offered to them, depending on their interests. These can be scouting, sporting events, and other , just to name a few. These opportunities basically enhance leadership skills, camaraderie, and teamwork, may not be acquired at home alone. It is, therefore, not surprising that majority of friendships emanate from schools.

By and large, I strongly believe that when it comes to honing the overall academic and social skills of the youth, mentors have a more crucial role than parents. It is because they are professionally trained in performing so.

This essay seems worthy of Band 8. It would get a high Task Response score because all parts of the topic have been addressed – body paragraph 1 is on intellectual development and body paragraph 2 talks about the social development of students. The author organised information well, and used examples to support his/her points. The overall cohesion and coherence are achieved through skillful use of linking words and expressions. In terms of lexical resource and grammar there are some minor issues, however, they shouldn’t affect the score much. Well done!

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‘form new friendships’ is a better way to say this
‘offspring’ doesn’t have a plural form
‘that’ isn’t needed in this sentence
the writer means ‘activities’
‘all of which’ should be used here instead

IELTS essay, topic: People should not work beyond the retirement age (agree/disagree)

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

In recent years, with the improvement in healthcare sector and better , people are able to live longer and contribute to the economic progress of a nation more, compared to the past. Some see this as an entirely positive development, while others point out the drawbacks of working beyond the retirement age.

Delaying retirement enables individuals to actively contribute to the society. On a personal level, working past retirement age provides an avenue for individuals to remain not only physically but also mentally active. Moreover, this option empowers the ageing population to be financially independent and economically self-sustainable past retirement age. In countries with growing ageing population such as Singapore, for instance, citizens are given an option to work beyond their retirement age based on the demands of their job and their capability to handle these tasks. Hence, working beyond retirement age empowers workers, ensures economic progression of the nation, and alleviates the challenges faced by an ageing population.

On the flip side, working beyond the retirement age may result in adverse health impacts on workers and a decrease in productivity levels. In Japan, the suicide rates have recently been increasing due to rising stress levels at work faced by the ageing population who are pushed to work beyond their optimal capacity. Escalating stress levels from work to various health complications putting a strain on the healthcare system. Hence, working beyond retirement age may worsen the overall welfare of individuals and adversely impact the economy.

To sum up, though working beyond retirement age health hazards leading to reduction in productivity levels, it seems to me that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. In my opinion, by assessing the capability of individuals and tailoring their jobs to their health profile, firms and companies should actively involve their workers to be productive beyond their retirement age.

This essay is an excellent example of IELTS Band 8 writing. The author presents sound arguments making his/her point of view very clear, examples are being used to support the writer’s points and the organisation of information is handled very well. There are some minor inaccuracies, however, they wouldn’t affect the score much in the real test. Well done!

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use ‘standards of living’ instead
the correct verb form here is ‘lead’ because it refers to ‘stress levels’
it is better to say ‘may impose’ because the outcome is not 100% certain