IELTS Essays – Band 8

IELTS Writing – samples of IELTS essays of Band 8

IELTS essay, topic: should children grow up in the city or countryside (advantages/disadvantages)?

Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places?

Living in the rural area is the best option for children by a group of people, while others believe that cities offer more opportunities. In my opinion, if the city offers security and green areas, I agree it is a better place to raise the next generation some advantages both sides.

Firstly, the countryside in touch with nature, taking care of animals and helping with the gardening. Because of that, they learn how to protect the environment and to live without any technological equipment. Besides that, they have more freedom to play outside the house without any security worries, whereas in the city they are kept at home smartphones and computers for this reason. On the other hand, schools usually have lower quality and it is hard to find extracurricular classes. Therefore, children difficulties trying to develop their abilities besides the school curriculum.

However, schools at metropolitan areas tend to have better quality and offer all kinds of activities. Even if there is a sport or an art course that the institution does not offer, it is possible to look for it in another place around the city. As a result, all children’s talents and passions can be easier to develop. On the other hand, security, pollution and contact with nature are issues that we have to worry about. The better option would be a city with an excellent quality of life where children could play in parks and gardens.

To sum up, growing up in the countryside can be very positive for someone’s childhood, but the city will usually offer better opportunities for their talents’ development.

This is a well written essay. It talks about all parts of the task and the arguments and ideas are extended and supported by some examples. The information is sequenced in a logical way and most of the ideas are linked using appropriate connective words. The choice of vocabulary is suitable to express the meaning of the writer, though in some instances word choice can be improved further (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows suggested corrections). Most sentences are error-free and demonstrate various levels of complexity. Overall this essay seems good enough to deserve IELTS Band 8.

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‘thought of as / considered’ are better word choices here
the linking word ‘while’ should be used here, as in ‘while enjoying’
‘of’ is a better choice of preposition here than ‘from’
‘lets children be’ or ‘allows children to be’ are the correct forms
‘and driven towards using’ is a clearer way to say this
‘face’ is a better word choice here
‘lack of’ is a more appropriate way to say this

IELTS essay, topic: should unpaid community work be mandatory in high school (agree/disagree)?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that voluntary services charity, cleaning the neighborhood, imparting knowledge to the underprivileged, should be made mandatory in the high school curriculum. I strongly agree as it not only helps in students becoming socially responsible adults but also in shaping their character.

Firstly, community service inculcates a sense of responsibility towards the society, something that is needed to shape a good society. For instance, the introduction of Swatch Bharath scheme in my school, The Hyderabad Public School, ten years ago taught me not only to keep the surroundings of the school clean but also to never litter wherever I go. Hence, now I feel responsible to maintain cleanliness everywhere. Such services are needed to develop a better society in the future.

Secondly, voluntary services cater to the overall character development of an individual. It a feeling of empathy in children which is needed to build a better character. For example, an alumnus of Montessori High School, who indulged in petty law-breaking activities during school confessed that it was the charity service that he did in high school; which in his mind; him in becoming a better person for his family and refrained him from committing socially irresponsible acts. Thus, such voluntary activities teach us to value what we have and in turn to our personality development.

That being said, we cannot deny the fact that many students misuse the time allocated for these services by considering it as an excursion to enjoy with friends rather than a learning .

In conclusion, although compulsory voluntary community service has its drawbacks, it is still useful in shaping a child as a socially responsible citizen and also in their overall personality development. Therefore, pupils should be encouraged to involve themselves in such activities.

This is a well written essay. It addresses all parts of the task and the arguments and ideas are developed and supported. The information is presented in a logical order and the ideas are linked by appropriate connective words. The use of vocabulary conveys the exact meaning of the writer and there are only minor instances of a word being used somewhat unnaturally. Sentence formation demonstrates a high level of control and very few errors (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows suggested corrections). Overall this essay seems good enough for IELTS Band 8 level.

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‘such as’ would be a better choice here
avoid using ‘etc’ in formal writing as it makes an impression of a lazy writer
‘with this view’ is more appropriate here
consider using a synonym such as ‘instill’ or ‘ingrain’ to sound less repetitive
a more appropriate word would be ‘implanted’
a better order is ‘ideas and deep thoughts’
this helped
subject-verb agreement requires ‘contribute’ here
This paragraph could be developed a bit better – one sentence isn’t enough to form a paragraph