IELTS Essays – Band 6

IELTS Writing – samples of IELTS essays of Band 6

IELTS Essay, topic: Traffic accidents

The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for aged drivers. Do you agree ?

Traffic accidents are on the rise these days. Most of the accidents injuries or death. Research have found that most of the accidents are caused by inexperienced drivers, for example young drivers.

Young drivers tend to be more daring and are unable to avoid a crush when they face one. They tend to be more daring after drinking alcohol at night and this causes them to lose control of the car. Drunk driving will not only risk a person’s own life but may also cause an life to be lost.

The government should encourage the driving to conduct driving lessons for drivers for a longer period. This will give them a clear picture about how accidents happen and teach them about the safety of others on the road. Drivers that have been in an accident after drunk driving should be from driving for at least two years and be given driving lessons again.

However, for the aged drivers, the government should not only the age limit but also check the capability of the aged drivers for instance eyesight, hearing and other related health conditions to ensure safe driving. It does not mean that an aged person not fit to drive and has a problem with the heart but a young or a middle aged person could also have heart failure these days.

To conclude, I feel that to raise the of young drivers not the best solution but to about the problems they may encounter on the road and to ban them from driving if they have caused an accident due to carelessness. As for the drivers, as long as they are capable on the road before a certain age and there are no health issues there shouldn’t be a problem.

This essay is too long; you have written 305 words instead of the advised 250-265. In the first paragraph you should have presented the topic of argument an two opinions. The main issue here is multiple spelling and grammatical errors, see comments underlined in blue for more details. The task is covered, the paragraphs are coherent and logically connected by linking words. Overall, this looks like a Band 6.5 essay.

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have caused
,even worse,
innocent
schools
young
banned
lower
is
poorly structured and therefore confusing sentence
age limit (two words)
is
to educate them
aged

IELTS Essay, topic: Financial education at school

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Children in this modern era have all the magnificent toys, food and many more other interesting things than. They are bound to have a craving all this stuff that they see. In other words children will be spending money on anything they want or . Even some adults these days have some kind of craving to the thing

If financial education starts at the very beginning of the school years, this will help them to understand the value of money. Children should also be taught to manage their expenses and ways to spend wisely. When a child is being taught this in the school program, the child will be able to apply it when they are out to purchase or when they have left the school. They will not be cheated when they are young and this will not only benefit their families but also the whole country where they live when they are older.

However, there are some children that are capable of in a very way even before they learned it at school. children would have learnt from their families or people around them. They manage money better, compared to the other children from wealthier families for whom spending is not a problem.

My conclusion is, children regardless of their background should be taught financial education from school at the very beginning then only parents guide them from home as well.

This essay needs work. In the first paragraph you should have introduced the problem and mentioned what the two opinions are. Some of your sentences are unclear and their structure needs improvement (see comments underlined in blue for details). Also, there are arguments for financial education and no arguments against, which means that the task is only partially covered. Overall, looks like a Band 6 – 6.5 essay.

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they used to have
for
find interesting
The meaning of this sentence is unclear
handling their finances
smart
These
This sentence is not clear because of its poor structure