IELTS Essays – Band 6

Even though globalization affects the world’s economy in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Everything has two sides and the globalization is not exception. Our first thoughts about this topic include the process of global “McDonaldisation” and, generally speaking, spreading across the whole Globe.

Firstly, I would try to concentrate on the positive aspects of globalisation. As far as economy is concerned, like the Global Bank or IMF are always focused on developing the ‘Third World’ and helping poor people to combat their life obstacles (through loans and donations). Moreover, the world becomes an area of sharing thoughts (e.g. philosophical or economical doctrines), which become popular due to lack of barriers.

However, disadvantages of globalization are also widely known. Some people insist that because of this process, the spirit of countries and nations rapidly disappears. The integrity, established years ago is on the verge of collapsing. Furthermore, there’s a strong lobby of communists who , that the globalization indicates an uncontrolled reign of capitalists and slave work of lower labour-class. We should never forget about the detrimental impact of global investments on the environment – the green house effect or soar rains are triggered by globalization.

To sum up, globalization has both positive and negative influence on our everyday life. I can’t agree with the popular statement that we should try to avoid being affected by it. However, we must not forget about our surroundings and local communities. They have a great value which should last forever.

This essay is too short (233 words instead of mandatory 250), which may get it penalized. On the bright side, it covers the task and has a sound structure on the essay level. The paragraphs are coherent and are logically connected by linking words; the sentences are well-structured and the vocabulary is adequate. There were some inaccuracies, see comments underlined in blue. Overall, this looks like a band 6 essay.

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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it to be a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion on this?

In the Third World, children are usually sent to factories for laborious work. Many people believe that it is merely exploitation, while others think it is a good opportunity for them to life experience. In any case, children have their right to live and study in peaceful conditions. Therefore, using them as workforce is considered an unacceptable action.

First of all, children are not workers. They have just learned about the vast world and do not have any experience or concept of working. Since these innocent children are naive and , they can be easily cheated and exploited. There are many examples of this in poor nations. Because using children is cheap and to control, many enterprises hire them and don’t pay them much. Although the government in these countries has tried its best, this kind of taking advantage of children cannot be eliminated.

Moreover, children do not need such thing as ‘valuable work experience’ that is supposedly ‘important for learning and taking responsibility’. The brief responsibility of children is learning. They are not old enough to understand what working experiences are. Nevertheless, they can help parents do chores or housework. This will be a much better way for them to become more responsible for . In addition, childhood is one of the most remarkable memories and must not be taken away by forcing them to work.

In conclusion, since all children are the great concern of parent and society, they should be allowed to enjoy life and rather than to work. Hence, one must ponder what view is actually appropriate for the sake of the children.

This is a good essay. It covers the task, the paragraphs are coherent, the sentences are well-structured and the vocabulary is adequate. However a little structural change in the paragraphs is required – you should first make the point (such as “Some say that children should learn about earning money” and then oppose to it “However, children can not be compared to adult workers”). Also, there were some more inaccuracies (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a Band 6.5 essay.

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