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IELTS Essay, topic: Financial education at school

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Children in this modern era have all the magnificent toys, food and many more other interesting things than. They are bound to have a craving all this stuff that they see. In other words children will be spending money on anything they want or . Even some adults these days have some kind of craving to the thing
If financial education starts at the very beginning of the school years, this will help them to understand the value of money. Children should also be taught to manage their expenses and ways to spend wisely. When a child is being taught this in the school program, the child will be able to apply it when they are out to purchase or when they have left the school. They will not be cheated when they are young and this will not only benefit their families but also the whole country where they live when they are older.

However, there are some children that are capable of in a very way even before they learned it at school. children would have learnt from their families or people around them. They manage money better, compared to the other children from wealthier families for whom spending is not a problem.

My conclusion is, children regardless of their background should be taught financial education from school at the very beginning then only parents guide them from home as well.

This essay needs work. In the first paragraph you should have introduced the problem and mentioned what the two opinions are. Some of your sentences are unclear and their structure needs improvement (see comments underlined in blue for details). Also, there are arguments for financial education and no arguments against, which means that the task is only partially covered. Overall, looks like a Band 6 – 6.5 essay.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of band 6

they used to have
for
find interesting
The meaning of this sentence is unclear
handling their finances
smart
These
This sentence is not clear because of its poor structure

IELTS Essay, topic: Aspects of globalization

Even though globalization affects the world’s economy in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Globalization is a process of advancement and increase in interaction between the worlds’ countries and people. It locomotion, communication, knowledge and skills. is gaining over the entire world. It has enough world attention needed from international organization in promoting and encouraging human right and freedom , opportunities, economic, social and culture rights.

However, there are some countries that are missing out opportunities that are offered and its taken as a big problem to their country. They are the poorer countries that are not connected to the people globally and their people are unskilled due to the lack of knowledge and . They are also unable to trade with the other countries which are richer and larger as they are unable to meet the demand of them. They also will not have the opportunities and the challenges that are .

Globalization has also crimes like the illegal drug trafficking around the world through the air, sea and land. This has involved human smuggling and stuffing it in anything they come across. This has a lot of problems to the country and the families of the drug addicts. This will also lead to other crimes like robbery and violence in the country.

Another negative side of globalization is the dumping of the dangerous waste to the , sea or the ocean. This will , the water and cause harm to the people .

To conclude, globalization has contributed a lot to the world’s but the international organization should also not forget the poorer countries and the countries should also tackle its other negative sides that affect the world.

This essay doesn’t have a paragraph about the positive side of globalization, and it should – so the task is only partially covered. The structure is fine, the paragraphs are logically connected and linking words are used effectively enough. However, there are many spelling and grammatical errors (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a Band 6 – 6.5 essay.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of band 6

involves
globalization
speed
attracted
on the
equipment (no plural form)
expected
required
encouraged
caused
rivers
affect the aquatic creatures
contaminate
as well
economy
 

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