My certificate in Secondary education shows above average grades. I have worked in a voluntary position on weekends teaching English to young foreign kids. I do have the means to pay back if a loan was approved by the college. My employer will vouch for my employment and provide you with a proof of my earnings. He could also arrange a monthly deduction from my salary to your bank account.
I believe I have what it takes and I trust you would consider my request, by giving me the opportunity to continue my study.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
This is a good letter. It has the right structure, covers the task, shows a good command of the English language, the sentences range in complexity, the grammar and spelling are fine. Some minor corrections were made, see comments. Overall, this looks like a Band 7 letter.
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