This is a model response to a Writing Task 2 topic from High Scorer’s Choice IELTS Practice Tests book series (reprinted with permission). This answer is likely to score IELTS Band 9.
Set 1 General Training book, Practice Test 1
Writing Task 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words.
Answer
Humans have become a prime culprit for the destruction of the wildlife population around the world. Humans believe that they are the most powerful species on this planet and have therefore chosen to use all of nature’s resources for their own good, even if this results in the destruction of the environment around them. Clearly, this is not a positive result of human existence and many people believe that the world’s wildlife population should be better protected.
One possible way to protect wildlife around the world is to reduce the amount of polluted substances produced through the human way of life. It has become habitual for people to pollute water by adding chemicals to it during industrial processes or to pollute air as a result of the fossil fuel industries and car emissions. Stopping the addition of chemicals to water and creating cleaner processes would reduce water pollution and help create a safer environment for wildlife to live in. Increasing the availability and use of public transportation and increasing the use of renewable energy sources could reduce world pollution further.
Another possible attempt to protect wildlife around the world is to actively promote recycling projects to reduce the amount of resources that are wasted. This would lessen the degradation of the natural environment, as humans continue to search for new resources. Society uses a lot of paper and wood on a daily basis and people do not actively think about whether or not they are wasting these resources. Printing double-sided or on recycled paper for example would appear to change nothing, yet if carried out regularly would help make a difference.
In conclusion, there are numerous different ways in which every human being can help to protect the wildlife population around the world. One can engage in projects to raise awareness of environmental destruction or one can actively take part in activities to protect it. Everyone must find the area in which he or she would like to involve him or herself, as all should be obliged to protect wildlife around the world.
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I can see in the first paragraph there is no paraphrasing, and still it is band 9. Some people say paraphrasing is essential in first paragraph , and most of the people don’t paraphrase and write some other things.
What is the best and acceptable approach , to me, it is a mystery
Paraphrasing is for those who do not have other knowledge or idea about the topic but if one have extra knowledge can start with that but it should not be out of context.
I THINK THE ANSWER IS WAY OUT OF QUESTION AND I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS CAN BE A BAND 9
Hi Janet, could you be more specific and say what parts of the essay you think are off-topic and why? I will be happy to clarify why these parts are addressing the question.
Yes sir , I also feel it’s out of way . Your answer is how to save environment. But question is how to save wild life.
If you look in body paragraph 1, there is a clear reason for preserving the environment – so that wildlife will have somewhere to live. I am referring to this sentence:
“Stopping the addition of chemicals to water and creating cleaner processes would reduce water pollution and help create a safer environment for wildlife to live in.”