IELTS Letter, topic: Asking for information on scholarships

Dear Sir/Madam,

I?m writing this letter to request more information about scholarship/Finance assistance offered by your College.

I was awaiting in anticipation to enroll next year for the much coveted Diploma in English, but with unfortunate circumstance, I found myself in a financial difficulty.

I would appreciate it if you could steer me in the right path for scholarship information or if the college will be able to gave me financial assistance.

My certificate in Secondary education shows above average grades. I have worked in a voluntary position on weekends teaching English to young foreign kids. I do have the means to pay back if a loan is granted by the college. My employer will vouch for my employment and provide you with my earnings, and he could also arrange a monthly deduction from salary to your bank account.

I believe I have what it takes and I trust you would consider me setback, by giving me the opportunity to study further.

Looking forward to hear from you soon.

Yours Faithfully,
M Munsamy

This is a good letter. It has the right structure, covers the task, shows good command of English, the sentences range in complexity, the grammar and spelling are fine. Some minor corrections were made, see comments. Overall, looks like Band 7.