In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
It is true that nowadays people in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences to this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.
As people live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more people of retirement age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller, and governments will therefore receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the population. In other words, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden working adults. Further pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and the adults will increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives.
There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above. Firstly, a simple solution would be to increase the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people of this age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. A second measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the number of working adults who pay taxes. Finally, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent vital healthcare, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising numbers of senior citizens.
In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the populations of countries grow older.
This essay covers the task requirements, however some problems of aging population get only a brief mention. The linking of sentences in the second body paragraph is somewhat ‘mechanical’ and could have been improved. Information sequencing and organisation in paragraphs are done well. The range of vocabulary and the fluency of its use, as well as lack of errors are impressive. Overall, this is a good example of how to get Band 8 without writing a very long essay.
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This essay no 23. on old people population increase , lacks specific example in the entire essay.
1)Nowhere I can see phrases that says”for example”, ” for instance”, “to illustrate”.
2)There is no range in vocabulary used.
3) The conclusion is in fact quite vague which just says “certain measure can be taken” paraphrasing the question again!
You have mentioned that this essay is elligible to get 8 band! which surprises me a lot. (This is the only essay I saw on your blog)
This is how you people mislead new learners. If this is the quality of content online, those from poor countries who cannot go to costly coaching centers will not crack the exam.. Sorry if I am rude.
Hello Abdul, thank you for your comment. You are entitled to express your opinion – there is nothing rude about that. We respectfully disagree with your opinion though. Our teachers assessed this essay as Band 8 and they stand by their evaluation. In regard to your claim #1, there is no requirement to use the words ‘for instance’ or ‘for example’ to illustrate a point. One instance of such illustration can be seen in this sentence ‘Firstly, a simple solution would be to increase the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70.’ By mentioning the specific age the writers makes their point clearer. In regard to your claim #2, the range of vocabulary is certainly wide enough for a Band 8 here. The conclusion could have been better, but again, this isn’t a Band 9 essay. I assure you that ‘us people’ running this website would never mislead new learners, and in fact we contributed to the success of many who did very well in IELTS.
This essay had been written keenwittedly. And I think it is deserving in a high score