Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind, such as reading and doing crossword puzzles. Others feel that it is important to give one’s mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss.
As we are human we naturally need to rest leisure time to stress of work and everyday life. In fact, every individual need to do what they want and . Personally, I prefer to be active during this time because . Moreover, people are free what they do their leisure time, and nobody can say what is the best.
Some people want to relax after their day of work. These people may prefer to relax by watching movies, reading or getting a massage. People who have a such as doctors, teachers and builders may choose these types of activities. If you are a doctor, you may feel that you want to let your body rest after work and you don’t want to do a five kilometer run after work, because you are already physically tired.
On the other hand, some people choose to be active in their leisure time because they do . For example, these people many spend all day sitting on a chair and their work. At the end of a working day, they a backache, and all of their body tired so they need to stretch their arms and improve their health by doing some activity such as going to the gym or swimming.
This essay needs work. It has the right structure and covers the task. However there are many poorly structured sentences, many of the sentences are too simple and don’t have enough complexity, there are grammatical errors and some prepositions are use incorrectly (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a Band 6 – 6.5 essay.
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