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IELTS Writing Samples

IELTS essay samples (writing task 2), report and letter samples (writing task 1) with Band Scores, marked by IELTS teachers, including comments and suggestions on how to increase your score

IELTS essay, topic: The proportion of older people is increasing, what problems will this cause and what solutions can be suggested?

In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

It is true that nowadays people in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences to this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.

As people live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more people of retirement age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller, and governments will therefore receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the population. In other words, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden working adults. Further pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and the adults will increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives.

There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above. Firstly, a simple solution would be to increase the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people of this age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. A second measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the number of working adults who pay taxes. Finally, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent vital healthcare, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising numbers of senior citizens.

In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the populations of countries grow older.

This essay covers the task requirements, however some problems of aging population get only a brief mention. The linking of sentences in the second body paragraph is somewhat ‘mechanical’ and could have been improved. Information sequencing and organisation in paragraphs are done well. The range of vocabulary and the fluency of its use, as well as lack of errors are impressive. Overall, this is a good example of how to get Band 8 without writing a very long essay.

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‘on’ is more suitable here
fact that young (‘that’ is necessary here for linking)
‘on’ is more suitable here

IELTS essay, topic: Senior managers should have higher salaries than other employees (agree/disagree)

In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree or disagree?

While some believe that rewarding those in managerial positions with higher pay packets is appropriate, not everyone agrees with this view. Personally, I am leaning towards the latter position due to negative impacts caused by significant difference in salaries within a company.

For one, executive officers should know that higher than sufficient salaries are not necessary. Indeed, the higher the remuneration they receive, the more likely the company to suffer from devoid of financial capability. Furthermore, they often gain powers that money can’t buy. For instance, they often make important decisions over how to make their company thrive. They are also entitled to allocate company’s budget and designate tasks to other workers. these non-financial entitlements, they should refrain from earning more than reasonable amounts as salaries.

Unreasonably high salaries granted to the executives can also afflict other employees. In fact, it is foreseeable that many employees would feel powerless or even when they find out about the huge salary gap between the executive officers’ and theirs. Accordingly, some may leave the company, and others may go on to strike and demand a pay increase. However, those actions . Therefore, unfair salary systems like this would yield unhealthy working environment for both employers and employees.

In conclusion, I oppose to those in managerial roles with obscene amounts of compensation because it can cost the company its prosperity and discourage other employees . Thus it is recommended for the company to decide on the salaries of executive officers and general workers by adopting a more motivating salary system.

This is a good example of an IELTS Band 8 essay. The task statement is sufficiently discussed, and the writer’s arguments are relevant and well developed. There are only 2 body paragraphs, but they are coherent and help to organise the information. Linking words are used appropriately to sequence ideas. Skillful use of synonyms throughout the essay demonstrates the writer’s vocabulary. Some of the expressions used aren’t entirely suitable or accurate, but there aren’t many of them. Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.0.

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the writer means ‘due to gaining’
the correct form is ‘disappointed’
the correct expression is ‘are neither productive nor worthy of doing’
the correct form is ‘providing’
the correct expression is “from working hard”