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IELTS essay, topic: In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining (reasons and solutions)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 November 2023

This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Sri Lanka.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

The alarming decline in biodiversity, particularly in the number of animals and plants, is a matter of global concern. It seems to me that the main culprits are habitat destruction and climate change, which, in turn, suggests that investing in conservation, working to reduce greenhouse gas emissions and raising global awareness would likely help arrest this worrying trend.

Firstly, habitat destruction stands as the most substantial factor contributing to the reduction in wildlife populations. Urban expansion, deforestation, and agricultural encroachment have drastically diminished the available natural habitats of many species. This loss of habitat not only reduces the number of species but also disrupts the area’s ecological balance, leading to further decline. Additionally, climate change, fueled by global warming, is restructuring ecosystems at a pace faster than many species can adapt to. The consequences of global warming include an escalating frequency of extreme weather events, rising sea levels, and shifting temperature patterns, all of which have catastrophic effects on both flora and fauna.

However, I firmly believe that it is possible to mitigate these issues. As a primary response, stringent conservation policies must be implemented and enforced. This includes establishing and maintaining protected areas and enforcing laws against illegal wildlife trade. Secondly, addressing climate change is paramount. This would involve global cooperation to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, alongside local and individual efforts to expand green spaces and support reforestation. It is also imperative to include public awareness and education as crucial steps in any conservation initiatives.

In conclusion, the decline in animal and plant populations is primarily due to habitat destruction and climate change. To combat this, a combination of conservation efforts, climate action, and public education is essential.

Teacher’s feedback:

This essay has all the prerequisites of Band 8 level writing.

Task Response: Band 8
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the primary causes of the decline in animal and plant populations and proposing solutions. The causes (habitat destruction and climate change) are clearly identified, and the proposed solutions (conservation policies, addressing climate change, public awareness, and education) are well-developed. The essay maintains a clear focus on the topic throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that develop ideas logically, and a concise conclusion. There is good use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and sentences (e.g., Firstly, Additionally, However, In conclusion). The progression of ideas is smooth and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
There is a good range of vocabulary used, including terms specific to the topic (habitat destruction, ecological balance, greenhouse gas emissions). The language is generally precise, and the writers uses varied and complex sentence structures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures. There are a few minor grammatical errors (e.g., “an increasing frequency” could be improved to “an increasingly frequent”). The sentence structures are generally varied, contributing to the overall quality of writing.

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