IELTS Writing Samples

All types of advertising should be banned because they are damaging to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertising has become an inseparable part of modern life, appearing in virtually every form of media. Some people argue that all advertising should be prohibited because of its harmful impact on society. While there are valid concerns about the negative influence of certain advertisements, I believe that a total ban would be impractical and even detrimental.

On the one hand, critics of advertising point to several ways in which it can be damaging. Firstly, advertising often promotes unrealistic standards of beauty and success, which can lead to low self-esteem, especially among young people. For example, cosmetic companies frequently feature heavily edited images, creating unattainable ideals. Advertising also encourages overconsumption and materialism by constantly pushing people to buy things they may not need. This not only fuels personal debt but also contributes to environmental degradation through increased waste and resource exploitation. Equally concerning is the fact that some advertisements target vulnerable groups, such as children, with unhealthy food or misleading claims.

Banning all types of advertising, however, would have significant drawbacks. For one, advertising is a crucial source of revenue for media outlets, allowing them to offer free content to the public. Without it, newspapers, television, and online platforms might struggle to survive, limiting access to information and entertainment. Additionally, responsible advertising helps consumers make informed choices by bringing new products and services to their attention. For example, advertisements for new technologies or healthcare products can educate the public about these useful innovations.

In conclusion, although advertising can have undesirable effects, especially when it promotes harmful stereotypes or excessive consumerism, a complete ban would be counter-productive. Instead, I believe governments should regulate advertising more strictly to minimise its negative impact while preserving its benefits.

Teacher’s feedback:

This is a strong and well-balanced essay that would comfortably sit at Band 8.

Task Response: Band 8
You’ve done a great job answering the question and showing both sides of the argument. Your position is clear throughout – that banning all ads isn’t practical, but better rules are needed – and you’ve supported it with good examples. If you wanted to go a step further, you could briefly mention some types of advertising that are clearly helpful, like health campaigns, to show a bit more balance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The structure of your essay works well. Each paragraph has a clear focus, and your ideas flow logically from one to the next. You’ve used linking words effectively, like “on the one hand” and “for example.” To make it even better, you could try adding a slightly smoother transition into the conclusion to tie everything together more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is strong and varied, and you’ve chosen your words carefully. Phrases like “overconsumption and materialism” and “unrealistic standards of beauty” show a good level of control. To push your score higher, try using some less common expressions or more advanced phrases now and then – just to show off your full range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
You’re using a good mix of sentence types and more complex structures confidently. Everything reads clearly and accurately, which helps your ideas come across smoothly.

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Essay Question

The cost of public transport has been rapidly rising over the past decade. What are the reasons for this? What are some possible solutions?

Band 8 Answer

In recent years, public transportation has become significantly more expensive. This surge in cost has placed a considerable strain on urban residents, with commuting expenses taking up a substantial part of their monthly earnings. I believe that both inflation and less-than-ideal government policies are key contributors to this problem.

One major factor behind the increase is inflation, which affects nearly all goods and services, including public transit. This may be partly due to the growing costs of fuel and the overall expense of operating transportation systems. Additionally, government policies often lead to rising fares. Public transport pricing is typically regulated to recover the expenses of maintaining and overseeing the network, but inefficiencies in government spending often drive these fares up. For example, when public transport infrastructure is outsourced to private firms for upkeep or repairs, these contractors may inflate their prices, knowing the government is likely to pay without strict budget constraints.

There are, however, several ways to ease this financial pressure. One approach is to offer discounted or subsidized tickets to vulnerable groups such as students, the elderly, and people from low-income backgrounds. Another solution would be for governments to explore more cost-effective and environmentally friendly transport alternatives, such as electric or solar-powered vehicles. These sustainable options not only reduce emissions but also tend to be cheaper to operate and maintain in the long run.

To sum up, while the rising cost of public transportation may be unavoidable due to economic trends and policy shortcomings, steps can still be taken to lessen its impact. Targeted subsidies and the adoption of greener technologies could significantly reduce the financial burden on the population.

Teacher’s feedback:

Your essay is a solid example of Band 8 writing.

Task Response: Band 8
You address both parts of the question effectively, providing clear reasons for the rising cost of public transport and offering feasible solutions. Your explanation of inflation and government inefficiencies shows good insight, and your solutions are practical and relevant. To strengthen your response further, you could briefly acknowledge other potential causes, such as urban expansion or increased demand, to show a more nuanced understanding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
Your essay is well-structured, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a clear focus and is linked smoothly to the next. You use cohesive devices such as “additionally,” “for example,” and “to sum up” effectively. A slightly smoother transition between the problem and solution sections could enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is appropriate and varied. Expressions like “placed a considerable strain,” “less-than-ideal government policies,” and “cost-effective and environmentally friendly transport alternatives” demonstrate strong lexical control. To push toward a higher score, consider incorporating more idiomatic or advanced collocations (e.g., “fiscal mismanagement” or “long-term cost-saving measures”).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
You show a good command of grammatical structures, with a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, “Public transport pricing is typically regulated to recover the expenses of maintaining and overseeing the network, but inefficiencies in government spending often drive these fares up,” is well-constructed. Your sentence structures support clarity and precision throughout.

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