IELTS Writing Samples

Essay Question

The cost of public transport has been rapidly rising over the past decade. What are the reasons for this? What are some possible solutions?

Band 8 Answer

In recent years, public transportation has become significantly more expensive. This surge in cost has placed a considerable strain on urban residents, with commuting expenses taking up a substantial part of their monthly earnings. I believe that both inflation and less-than-ideal government policies are key contributors to this problem.

One major factor behind the increase is inflation, which affects nearly all goods and services, including public transit. This may be partly due to the growing costs of fuel and the overall expense of operating transportation systems. Additionally, government policies often lead to rising fares. Public transport pricing is typically regulated to recover the expenses of maintaining and overseeing the network, but inefficiencies in government spending often drive these fares up. For example, when public transport infrastructure is outsourced to private firms for upkeep or repairs, these contractors may inflate their prices, knowing the government is likely to pay without strict budget constraints.

There are, however, several ways to ease this financial pressure. One approach is to offer discounted or subsidized tickets to vulnerable groups such as students, the elderly, and people from low-income backgrounds. Another solution would be for governments to explore more cost-effective and environmentally friendly transport alternatives, such as electric or solar-powered vehicles. These sustainable options not only reduce emissions but also tend to be cheaper to operate and maintain in the long run.

To sum up, while the rising cost of public transportation may be unavoidable due to economic trends and policy shortcomings, steps can still be taken to lessen its impact. Targeted subsidies and the adoption of greener technologies could significantly reduce the financial burden on the population.

Teacher’s feedback:

Your essay is a solid example of Band 8 writing.

Task Response: Band 8
You address both parts of the question effectively, providing clear reasons for the rising cost of public transport and offering feasible solutions. Your explanation of inflation and government inefficiencies shows good insight, and your solutions are practical and relevant. To strengthen your response further, you could briefly acknowledge other potential causes, such as urban expansion or increased demand, to show a more nuanced understanding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
Your essay is well-structured, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a clear focus and is linked smoothly to the next. You use cohesive devices such as “additionally,” “for example,” and “to sum up” effectively. A slightly smoother transition between the problem and solution sections could enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is appropriate and varied. Expressions like “placed a considerable strain,” “less-than-ideal government policies,” and “cost-effective and environmentally friendly transport alternatives” demonstrate strong lexical control. To push toward a higher score, consider incorporating more idiomatic or advanced collocations (e.g., “fiscal mismanagement” or “long-term cost-saving measures”).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
You show a good command of grammatical structures, with a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, “Public transport pricing is typically regulated to recover the expenses of maintaining and overseeing the network, but inefficiencies in government spending often drive these fares up,” is well-constructed. Your sentence structures support clarity and precision throughout.

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Essay Question

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree?

Download the Sample Band 8 Essay here

Band 8 Answer

Parenting is one of the major responsibilities that most people take on in their adult life, requiring extensive knowledge and experience to perform well. Since the current school curriculum has no provisions for students to learn about parenting skills, some people have suggested it needs to change in order to help students acquire skills that would equip them well for raising children later in life. From my point of view, this would greatly enhance young people’s confidence and empower them to become better parents and contribute to a more successful, new generation.

The idea of parenting classes being necessary may face some opposition from those who believe that being a parent requires certain personal traits rather than learnt skills, and therefore cannot be taught successfully. The belief that good parenting decisions and actions are driven by one’s character and instincts rather than science, techniques, or guidelines would have some people resist making parental education mandatory in school. If this were the case, however, only a fraction of the population would be able to handle the role of a parent well, whereas in reality the majority of people manage to create loving homes for their children and teach them important moral values.

On the other hand, treating parenting as a skill that can be taught would lead to a wide range of benefits. Since the role of a parent comprises many areas of knowledge, some more specialised than others, such as medicine or psychology, the likelihood of a person acquiring that information on their own is not great. Without sufficient background, adults would be ill-equipped to deal with childhood problems effectively; however, if they knew in advance of the common issues they may encounter as a mother or a father and had solutions presented to them, that would greatly help them cope with almost any situation. To illustrate, childhood misbehaviour is a source of significant stress for some parents, and mastering different approaches for dealing with, for instance, temper tantrums, gives parents confidence and helps them reassure the children while controlling the undesirable behaviour.

In conclusion, while some scepticism as to whether parenting should be taught in schools is understandable, I believe it would empower parents to raise their children in a better way, and the entire society would benefit from a more successful young generation.

Teacher’s feedback:

Your essay is a good example of Band 8 writing.

Task Response: Band 8
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear argument in favor of teaching parenting skills in schools. You acknowledge the opposing view and refute it with relevant examples, which strengthens your position. The essay maintains focus on the benefits of this education for individuals and society. Expanding on how schools might implement such programs could further support your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organised, with clear paragraphs that flow logically. You use cohesive devices like “however,” “on the other hand,” and “to illustrate” effectively. The introduction leads into the body well, and the conclusion summarises the argument clearly. A smoother transition between the counterargument and rebuttal could improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with effective phrases like “extensive knowledge,” “moral values,” and “parenting as a skill.” Terms such as “specialised knowledge” and “misbehaviour” add depth. To push for a higher score, consider using more advanced or less common expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
Your essay demonstrates strong grammatical control, with a good mix of complex and compound sentences. For example, the sentence “If this were the case, however, only a fraction of the population would be able to handle the role of a parent well, whereas in reality the majority of people manage to create loving homes for their children and teach them important moral values.” shows effective use of conditional and contrastive structures. Overall, your grammar is strong and contributes to the essay’s coherence.

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