IELTS Essays – Band 8

IELTS Writing – samples of IELTS essays of Band 8

IELTS essay, topic: Some think that children should leave their family home as soon as possible while others believe they should stay for as long as they like (discuss)

Some people think that it is best to encourage children to leave their family home as soon as possible. Others believe children should stay at the family home for as long as they like. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sample Essay

Although it is thought by some that urging young people to abandon their family home at an early age is beneficial for them, others believe that it is better if children stay with their families for longer. In my opinion, leaving family home early has many advantages for children.

On the one people think that youngsters ought to leave their parents’ house so as to learn life skills at an early age. Their reasoning is that it should push young people towards independence and make them learn from life lessons rather than merely rely on their parents. For example, students who pursue tertiary study away from their home city might learn taking personal responsibility. Also, living independently will teach children a lot by presenting some difficulties, which, consequently, will add some more experience that may prove essential in their future lives.

On the other hand, it is argued that children should stay with their parents for longer for several reasons. Firstly, young people need advice from adults, and no one would be better suited to that than their parents. Secondly, life can be generally harsh, for children in particular. In other words, they might or take unnecessary risks if they mix with the wrong crowd. It is commonly known that young people tend to be by unethical people. To avoid that, being under parental supervision is utterly important for children.

To sum up, while people’s opinions may vary, I believe that young people should leave their family home at an early age, while parents ought to provide them with appropriate advice and keep an eye on their well-being.

This essay covers the task by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of leaving the family home early in life, and the writer’s opinion has been clearly stated. The arguments for and against have been organised in paragraphs and supported by examples. Accuracy of expression needs some work (see suggested corrections underlined in blue) and in one case sentence structure needs more attention. Overall, assuming the errors were corrected, this essay could score Band 8 in IELTS.

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the words ‘I consider that’ are redundant because the sentence starts with ‘In my opinion’
this should read ‘On the one hand, some…’ – the full stop should be replaced with a comma and ‘some’ should continue the sentence, instead of starting a new one
the words ‘tend to’ are unnecessary and should be removed
‘get in trouble’ is a better way to say this
the correct way to say this is ‘easily influenced’

IELTS essay, topic: When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers (agree/disagree)

When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sample Essay

Some people argue that town planners should have a preference for more parks and gyms to be created than business districts and shopping malls. While I understand the concerns of people who hold this opinion, it seems to me that shopping centers are just as important as parks and gyms in a town.

There are reasons why public facilities are crucial to city inhabitants. First of all, they provide suitable spaces and equipment for people to exercise. For example, people can go jogging in the park and play tennis or basketball at the sports stadium. That helps to keep their bodies fit and it also elevates their mood during the day. Besides, parks and sports facilities are good spots for people to socialize with their neighbors. People can connect with others when they are playing sports or talking casually with passers by in the park. A harmonious relationship between residents helps build a caring and friendly neighborhood.

Although parks and gyms give the town dwellers all kinds of benefits, I would like to point out the importance of shopping malls to the district. Firstly, a shopping center could make shopping more convenient for the local residents. It would enable them to easily purchase things in town and transport them home with less effort and at lower cost. They would not need to spend extra money on transportation or shipping of the goods. Secondly, a shopping mall can provide employment. Locals can find work in retail, maintenance or security of the mall, hence earning an income to support their families.

In conclusion, although parks and sports facilities serve as places for exercise and social activities for city dwellers, I believe that shopping centers are equally important, since they can provide job opportunities and convenience to the town residents.

This essay would score well on Task Achievement because it addresses all parts of the question, discusses reasons for and against building more parks than shopping malls and expresses the opinion of the writer. The main ideas are organized well and explained coherently. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the requirements of the task response. Overall, this essay could get Band 8 in IELTS.

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