IELTS Essay, topic: Financial education at school

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Children in this modern era have all the magnificent toys, food and lots of other interesting stuff in the market then in the past. They are bound to have a craving on all this stuff they see. In other words children will be spending on anything they want or find it interesting to them. Even some adults these days have some kind of craving to the thing they find it amazing.

If financial education starts at the very beginning of the school years, this will help them to understand the value of money. Children should also be taught to manage their expenses and ways to spend wisely. When a child is being taught this in the school program, the child will be able to apply it when they are out to purchase or when have left the school years. They will not be cheated when they are young and will not only benefit their families but also the country that they live when they are older.

However, there are some children that are capable to handle the their financial in a very positive way even before they learned it from school. This children would have learnt from their families or people around them. They are more well manage, compare the other children from families background that a richer where spending are not a problem to them.

My conclusion is, children regardless of their background should be taught financial education from school at the very beginning then only parents guide them from home as well.__

This essay needs work. In the first paragraph you should have introduced the problem and mentioned what the two opinions are. Some of your sentences are unclear and their structure needs improvement (see comments underlined in blue for details). Also, there are arguments for financial education and no arguments against, which means that the task is only partially covered. Overall, looks like a Band 6 - 6.5 essay.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of band 6

IELTS Essay, topic: Aspects of globalization

Even though globalization affects the world’s economics in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Globalization is a process of advancement and increase in interaction between the worlds’ country and people. It involes in locomotion, comunication, knowledge and skills. Globalazation is gaining speen over the entire world. It has attract enough world attention needed from international organization in promoting and encouraging human right and freedom , opportunities, economic, social and culture rights.

However, there are some countries that are missing out the opportunities that are offered and its taken as a big problem to their country. They are the poorer countries that are not connected to the people globally and their people are unskilled due to the lack of knowledge and equipments. They are also unable to trade with the other countries which are richer and larger as they are unable to meet the demand propose to them. They also will not have the opportunities and the challenges that are require.

Globalization has also encourage crime like the illegal trade in drug trafficking around the world through the air, sea and land. This has involve human smuggling and stuffing it in anything they can come across. This has affected a lot of problem to the country and the family of the drug addicts. This will also lead to other crimes like robbery and violence in the country.

Another negative side of globalization is the dumping of the dangerous waste to the river, sea or the ocean. This will effect the aquactic creature, contaninate the water and cause harm to the people too.

To conclude, globalization has done an enormous part in the world’s econnmics but the international organization should also not forget the poorer countries and the countries should also tackle the other negative side that affects the world.

This essay doesn’t have a paragraph about the positive side of globalization, and it should – so the task is only partially covered. The structure is fine, the paragraphs are logically connected and usage of linking words is sufficient. However, there are many spelling and grammatical errors (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, looks like a Band 6 - 6.5 essay.

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