IELTS Essay, topic: Should students travel?

Some people think that students who don’t take a break in studies between the high school and the university are at disadvantage compared to students who travel and work after high school before further continuing their education. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, in our competitive world, to succeed, knowledge from school and university is not enough. Therefore, students who study from the school to university get fewer benefits and contribute less too, compared to those who travel or work and get experience and skills . There are two following reasons to support for my opinion. I refer to the group of people who study from school to university as ‘group A’ and the other group – as ‘group B’.

Firstly, at school and university, what group A gains is almost entirely theory, theory and theory. Of course, theory is very , however, you can’t do everything with just theory. You must have experience. This is what group A . Although in the third or fourth year at university, group A can be apprentices in some companies, to help them approach their future jobs, they aren’t trained well because of the short time spent working. And the real job is still very strange to them. After graduating, without experience, group A students can’t accomplish their work perfectly. On the other hand, it takes them time and money to keep up with other experienced students and they may be scorned. Therefore, group A students can contribute less than group B who have the two most important things: skills and experience.

Secondly, as group A students are contributing less, they surely get less benefit. Moreover, many companies which employ people in group A have to train them from ground-up. These companies take this cost from group A’s salary to reduce the risk of their employees leaving to other companies after being trained. So, less benefits are unavoidable and certain, group B members are more loyal and effective workers. They also have useful experience and skills. Besides, their education is the same as or even higher than that of group A. As the result, group B gets more benefits absolutely.

In conclusion, I think a student should travel or work before going to the university. That way, not only will they have basic knowledge but also skills and experience which are useful for them to get a good job and have a brilliant future.

This essay is too long (350 words instead of 250). To fight this problem, try to write in a more general form and provide fewer details. The use of language and ideas are good and so is the essay structure. Seems worthy of Band 7.

students
before continuing their education
necessary
practical
lacks
inappropriate connective word

IELTS Essay, topic: Computers in the future

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

Today computers are used almost everywhere, it is impossible to imagine our life without PCs, Internet, mobile phones and other computer devices. It is reasonable to think that people look forward to the future of computers.

, computers make our life easier, we can easily get information about any product we plan to buy or place we plan to visit in a second using a personal computer and . Scientists predict that in the nearest future it will be possible to smell a new perfume using the Internet and watch 3D scenes at home like we do in the movie theater. According to forecasts of HR agencies machines will replace jobs of cashiers, and civil and military pilots. Some corporations in Japan are already selling
housewife-robots, which help old people to keep their homes clean.

Despite the fact that computers help us, they make us dependent. Apparently, people spend more time behind monitors than ever before. And some of them feel a need for more time to be spent with people in live contact. In addition, a breakdown of one of the important modules of a specific computer can entail serious consequences. to mention the computer problem that occurred in the end of 1990s, a problem related to the coming year 2000 (Y2K) and catastrophes that were predicted. Fortunately imminent disasters did not happen. However, it is difficult to imagine what could if all the predictions came true.

We live in a technological era, computers penetrated everywhere with all benefits they provide and all dangers they hide. However we are satisfied with them and sometimes we even thank them because they help us in communicating, studying, doing business, entertaining and saving lives in critical situations.

Great essay, all the task points are covered, good language and structure. It would probably receive a Band 7.

Don’t copy sentences from the task into your essay
Inappropriate use of connective word, remove it
the Internet
Enough
have happened
 

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