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IELTS Writing Samples

IELTS essay samples (writing task 2), report and letter samples (writing task 1) with Band Scores, marked by IELTS teachers, including comments and suggestions on how to increase your score

IELTS essay, topic: Should children be working?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it to be a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion on this?

In the Third World, children are usually sent to factories for laborious work. Many people believe that it is merely exploitation, while others think it is a good opportunity for them to life experience. In any case, children have their right to live and study in peaceful conditions. Therefore, using them as workforce is considered an unacceptable action.

First of all, children are not workers. They have just learned about the vast world and do not have any experience or concept of working. Since these innocent children are naive and , they can be easily cheated and exploited. There are many examples of this in poor nations. Because using children is cheap and to control, many enterprises hire them and don’t pay them much. Although the government in these countries has tried its best, this kind of taking advantage of children cannot be eliminated.

Moreover, children do not need such thing as ‘valuable work experience’ that is supposedly ‘important for learning and taking responsibility’. The brief responsibility of children is learning. They are not old enough to understand what working experiences are. Nevertheless, they can help parents do chores or housework. This will be a much better way for them to become more responsible for . In addition, childhood is one of the most remarkable memories and must not be taken away by forcing them to work.

In conclusion, since all children are the great concern of parent and society, they should be allowed to enjoy life and rather than to work. Hence, one must ponder what view is actually appropriate for the sake of the children.

This is a good essay. It covers the task, the paragraphs are coherent, the sentences are well-structured and the vocabulary is adequate. However a little structural change in the paragraphs is required – you should first make the point (such as “Some say that children should learn about earning money” and then oppose to it “However, children can not be compared to adult workers”). Also, there were some more inaccuracies (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a Band 6.5 essay.

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gain
inexperienced
they are easy
for the sake of their family
be educated
be encouraged

IELTS essay, topic – Getting the news from the radio, TV or the Internet

You can get up-to-date news from the radio, TV and the Internet. Which kind of media do you think is the best to get the news?

Nowadays, there are several channels to get news, such as the radio, TV, newspapers and the Internet. I think the Internet is the best among these. .

Since its invention, the Internet has been booming as a prospective industry. Not only because it is a combination of text, audio and video, but also due to its . It has threatened the domination of spreading news of the traditional media, and, I would say, is about to take control.

We can find everything we want on the Internet – the latest news, books, songs, movies, cartoons… . With the radio, we can merely hear. Compared to a newspaper, the radio and TV can provide the latest information. For instance the breaking news of the Americans’ attacking Iraq was immediately online, as well as that the Twin Towers of New York were destroyed on September 11, 2001. However, we just cannot .

The Internet is a way of getting information, as long as your mobile phone is connected or you possess a laptop. When I am a vehicle, I usually have my cellphone connected to the Internet, then browse through what in the past few hours, or log in MSN to begin a conversation with my friends. Reading a newspaper is also a good way to kill time, but for me, a youngster, it is not so modern as “surfing online while commuting”.

The traditional media will never disappear, though the Internet has taken a big advantage the competition. And definitely, there is still a long way for the Internet to go. , the Internet benefits me the most, and I highly appreciate it.

This essay needs some work. It covers the task and its structure is fine. However the structure of the sentences needs attention (see suggestions in comments underlined in blue). Some words such as “whatever” should be avoided. You use prepositions in an inaccurate way and there are grammatical and spelling errors in your essay as well. Overall, this looks like a Band 6.5 essay.

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This sentence has no value, instead you could say that other kinds of media have their advantages too, however, there are objective reasons why the Internet is the best
convenience
don’t use this word in essay, use “and more” instead
available
watch TV all day long
convenient
in
happened
over
Because of all of the advantages