IELTS Essays – Band 9

This is a model response to a Writing Task 2 topic from High Scorer’s Choice IELTS Practice Tests book series (reprinted with permission). This answer is close to IELTS Band 9.

Set 4 Academic book, Practice Test 16

Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people today believe that it is acceptable to use physical force to discipline children, but others feel it is completely unacceptable.

Discuss this view and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

Sample Band 9 Essay

Punishing children with physical force, or corporal punishment as it is also called, is something that was accepted not so long ago and people over the age of forty may well remember it. Nowadays, however, corporal punishment is against the law in most countries and adults who practise it can be taken to court. Children are always a vulnerable group and they depend on adults for protection and education. Of course, part of the growing up process is testing and breaking boundaries and it is nearly always necessary to instill discipline on a child. Whether or not it is necessary to use physical force to do so can be a very emotive subject.

Supporters of corporal punishment often defend their standpoint by explaining that the corporal punishment is not, or should not be, excessive. They do not argue that a child should be beaten severely until he or she is bruised or cut. They argue that just the infliction of mild pain causes effective discipline and also the fear that it might be applied. People who grew up experiencing it might offer this point of view.

Those who oppose using physical force on a child would say that the vulnerability and innocence of a child means that force should never be used. Children need to trust adults and believe that no harm will come to them. Additionally, children learn from adults and it is argued that corporal punishment will only teach children that force is an answer to various problems. It is also claimed that corporal punishment has no added benefits over other forms of discipline that do not require physical force. Using it can cause psychological harm to children and should be classed as child abuse.

Personally, I do not believe that limited use of forms of corporal punishment can cause harm, and a parent who administers a mild form of it to his or her child should not be subject to criminal proceedings. Nevertheless, I would not use it myself. I can also recognise the possibilities of adults who are not a child’s parents misusing corporal punishment. Therefore, I believe that on balance physical force to discipline children should not be permitted.

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This is a model response to a Writing Task 2 topic from High Scorer’s Choice IELTS Practice Tests book series (reprinted with permission). This answer is close to IELTS Band 9.

Set 2 Academic book, Practice Test 10

Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, transport and dirty water.

Do you think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights or accommodation to restrict today’s tourism industry?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

Sample Band 9 Essay

Travelling today is simple to the extent that within twelve hours one can travel from Europe to Singapore, crossing nearly the whole globe. Based on this simplicity, tourism has changed significantly over the years. While in the past a family would be proud to drive two hours to a lake, many families now think nothing of travelling to the far side of the world. This also has a downside as increased pollution is a result. Extra taxes on flights or accommodation have therefore been offered as a solution so as to increase the cost of tourism and reduce its popularity.

No matter what major transportation is used, travelling creates pollution. To decrease the amount of pollution caused by tourism, the tourism industry itself would have to be weakened. If these increased taxes are based on travelling distance, people would be more willing to stay closer to their home country, as for many even a slight increase would mean that their planned holidays would be too expensive. Accommodation taxes would raise holiday costs no matter the distance travelled. Therefore, if increased taxes were levied on travel and accommodation, tourism and therefore pollution would decrease.

On the other hand, the main transport methods that would be impacted by imposing extra taxes would be communal ones, such as planes, trains and buses, and increasing the taxes would also impact non-tourists. Also, holidays are a vital part of ordinary people’s lives, as they escape from work and stress, and get to spend valuable time with their families. Stopping people travelling would greatly impact some simple pleasures of ordinary life.

In conclusion, while tourism impacts the environment significantly, simply introducing extra taxes on transport or accommodation is a drastic measure. It could be more valuable to change the methods of transportation to decrease pollution, instead making people stay close to home.

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