IELTS Essays – Band 7

IELTS Writing – samples of IELTS essays of Band 7

IELTS Essay, topic: Smoking in public places

Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion.

, organization and companies as well as governments impose restrictions in work places and public amenities. It has become fashionable in the world today . I feel that smoking can be harmful, but I don’t think it should be forbidden completely. I would also argue that people should have the whether or not they should smoke.

Allow me to present the three positive sides of smoking. Firstly, smoking certainly helps many people to relax. For some, it even improves concentration. If someone is upset or they have , to smoke to reduce the pressure or tension. people like to smoke when they are relaxing with friends. Secondly, governments throughout the world make huge profits from taxes on cigarettes. The income obtained through taxes provides funds which are used for building and public places such as parks, gardens, sports ground and foot paths. Thirdly, tobacco industry also employs tens of thousands of people all over the world, particularly in poorer countries such as Zimbabwe or the Philippines. Without cigarettes, these people would have no jobs.

Despite these positive are lots of negative effects to smoking too. Initially, smoking has been proven to be very dangerous for health. cigarette contains more than 4000 chemical substances, therefore, it dangerous diseases such as heart attacks, asthma, bronchitis or lung cancer. According to a recent report in Britain close to 3,500 people are killed each year in road accidents and 120,000 are killed by smoking. Furthermore, smoking costs governments millions of dollars because of the large number of people who need treatment in hospitals for smoking-related problems. Moreover, passive smoking is also a major concern today. Recent research shows that non-smokers can suffer from health problems if they spend long periods of time among people who do smoke. In the UK children whose parents are are three times as likely to start smoking themselves .

In short, I think the world would be a better place without cigarettes. However, the decision of whether smoke or not to smoke should be for each individual to make. I suggest that people should not smoke in a room or a place where there are non smokers, however they should be free to smoke elsewhere.

This is a very good essay, you have made your arguments well and set out the paragraphs as required. However, pay attention to your use of assertive statements e.g. ‘Without cigarettes, these people would have no jobs’. Perhaps they would gain employment in another industry – we cannot be sure. Over all, well done!

Most firms. Do not use a definitive “the firms”
on smoking
You should explain the statement and say to blame smoking for many illnesses or something else
Overuse of linking words – use just one, However or Although
right to decide
about owing money
an exam
they may like
Many
schools, hospitals – use plural form
effects, there
One
may cause many
smokers
as those from non-smoking families
to

IELTS Essay, topic: Children and rules

In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they like. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

Freedom plays a pivotal role in everybody’s life. We can see in today’s modernized era that nobody likes to be restricted, whether it is a child or an adult. Some people think that there should some strict rules of behavior for children, but I disagree with this statement.

that sometimes more restrictions can cause more frustration in children, which leads to many other mental problems as well. they can . Sometimes they feel under pressure, which can be the main reason for their poor performance in their field. In some cases children may insist on doing .

In other words we have to look other aspects as well, if we usually ignore our children’s bad habits, then they good human beings in their future life. Moreover if we never draw attention the children’s main activities then they might end up in a bad company. They the value of respect for their elders importance of relationships. They their cultural values as well.

In a nutshell, I would like to say that children should be the value of their customs, rituals and respect towards their elders for their future life, but most of the additional restriction should . It would good human beings in their future.

This is a good, well-written essay. Some sentences are too short and could be combined together to create a more complex structure. There is also some repetition of words, which should be avoided. Overall, nicely done.

be
It is the reality
Moreover,
be very stubborn
remove this word, it is unnecessary
the things we try to prevent them from doing
,
at
because
might not become
,
to
should learn
and the
must understand
taught
be avoided
help them become