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IELTS essay, topic: Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned (discuss + opinion)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 March 2024

This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Sri Lanka.

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Opinions on whether dangerous sports should be banned or not are divided. Some argue these sports should be prohibited due to safety concerns, while others advocate for freedom of choice when it comes to sports and emphasise personal choice and the benefits of risk-taking activities. In my opinion, while the concerns regarding the safety of these activities are valid, the individual freedom of choice should prevail.

Those in favour of banning dangerous sports highlight the obvious risks such as severe injuries or even death. Activities like cliff diving or extreme mountain biking are full of inherent dangers that often lead to severe or even fatal accidents. What is more, many young and impressionable people are not fully aware of the consequences of participating in such activities. For them, banning these sports is a valid way to prevent unnecessary harm and the emotional and financial impact that can follow not only to the participants involved but their loved ones as well.

On the flip side, those that advocate for the freedom to choose extreme sports believe that everyone should be free to choose their activities, regardless of the risk level. They argue that high-risk sports can be incredibly rewarding, and offers personal growth and an adrenaline rush that is difficult to find anywhere else. They also point out that with proper training and safety measures, the dangers can be reduced. For example, with thorough training and strict safety protocols the risk of skydiving becomes more manageable and this demonstrates that these activities can be enjoyed responsibly.

In my view, while safety is crucial, it should not overrule people’s freedom to choose their sports. Outright banning dangerous sports might prevent some accidents, but it also strips away the right to make personal choices about risk-taking. A balanced approach, where high-risk sports are not banned but regulated through strict safety measures and informed consent is a more reasonable solution.

Teacher’s feedback:

Overall, your essay is likely to get a Band 8 in IELTS for the following reasons:

Task Response: Band 8
You address the question directly, presenting a clear opinion that while safety concerns are valid, individual freedom of choice should prevail. Your argument is well-developed, with both sides of the argument presented before concluding with your own reasoned viewpoint.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs each dedicated to a different aspect of the argument. The use of transition words like “On the flip side” effectively contrasts different viewpoints, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes your position, enhancing the essay’s overall coherence.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your essay demonstrates a strong vocabulary with terms such as “inherent dangers,” “impressionable,” “adrenaline rush,” and “informed consent.” This varied vocabulary helps to clearly and effectively convey your arguments.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay showcases a variety of complex grammatical structures used accurately. Sentences are well-constructed, with appropriate use of complex clauses and passive forms which add to the clarity and sophistication of the writing.

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IELTS essay, topic: Use of computers and mobile phones to communicate has a negative impact on reading and writing skills (agree/disagree)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 February 2024

This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Oman.

Young people’s use of computers and mobile phones to communicate has a negative impact on their reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increasing use of computers and mobile phones among young people for communication has raised concerns regarding its impact on their reading and writing skills. While some people believe that this trend negatively affects literacy skills, I side with those who argue that it offers new avenues for language development.

One concern is that digital communication has introduced a simplified form of language that includes abbreviations, slang, and emojis, which may diverge from traditional language skills. As a result, young people often rely on this informal style of language even in formal settings. Additionally, the quick, bite-sized nature of digital content might negatively affect the attention span required for in-depth reading and understanding. This could potentially weaken this generation’s formal writing skills, which are crucial for academic and professional success.

However, these drawbacks are balanced by significant benefits. The digital era has led to an increase in the quantity and diversity of reading and writing. Young individuals come across various forms of text online, which exposes them to different language styles and vocabulary. The interactive nature of digital platforms also encourages active engagement with text, fostering improved language skills. Moreover, digital communication equips young people with a different set of language skills, such as being able to effectively and concisely convey information. They are also better able to read between the lines to decipher the deeper meanings of a text conversation.

In conclusion, while the informal nature of digital communication poses challenges to traditional reading and writing skills, it also offers opportunities for developing a broader set of literacy skills. I believe that the negative influence of digital devices on young users’ language skills is insignificant compared to the benefits they bring.

Teacher’s feedback:

Overall, this essay would get an IELTS Band 8 for the reasons outlined below.

Task Response: Band 8
The essay presents a nuanced argument that acknowledges both the potential negative and positive impacts of digital communication on literacy skills. For example, the writer states, “While some people believe that this trend negatively affects literacy skills, I side with those who argue that it offers new avenues for language development,” demonstrating a clear understanding of the complexity of the issue. The conclusion reinforces the writer’s position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organized, with a clear structure that logically progresses from introducing the issue to discussing its drawbacks and benefits, and finally concluding with a balanced view. The use of cohesive devices such as “However,” “Additionally,” and “In conclusion” smoothly guides the reader through the essay. For instance, transitioning from negative to positive impacts with “However, these drawbacks are balanced by significant benefits” maintains the essay’s logical flow and coherence.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
The essay showcases a strong command of vocabulary, including precise terms and phrases like “simplified form of language,” “bite-sized nature,” “exposes,” and “fostering.” This range of vocabulary allows the writer to discuss the topic in depth and with clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately, including complex sentences as can be seen here, “Due to this, people find themselves working longer hours, to satisfy the requirements of their superiors and get ahead in their careers,” which shows the writer’s ability to convey complex ideas clearly and accurately.

Submit your essay for correction and find out how to improve your Writing score.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of Band 8