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IELTS essay, topic: The main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need (agree/disagree)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 28 March 2024

This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Pakistan.

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The belief that advertising primarily seeks to increase the sales of non-essential products is one that merits considerable attention. I believe that while advertising does play a role in influencing consumer behaviour, its objectives are manifold and not solely confined to this aspect.

It is undeniably true that advertising uses persuasive techniques, like skilful storytelling or interesting visuals to make a product seem more appealing to customers. In essence, adverts are designed to make people believe that they need to buy a product to achieve a certain lifestyle or social status, and this strategy can indeed lead to an increased purchase of goods that are not strictly necessary for one’s well-being or happiness. In this sense, advertising can drive consumerism beyond our practical needs.

However, it is also crucial to acknowledge that advertising also serves informative purposes, as it introduces consumers to new products and innovations that can genuinely enhance their quality of life or offer solutions to their problems. For instance, advertising can play a pivotal role in raising awareness about energy-efficient appliances, health-related products, or educational services. Furthermore, advertising supports economic growth by helping businesses reach their target audiences, and it also facilitates healthy competition which is often the driving force behind product improvement.

In conclusion, while advertising does influence the purchase of non-essential products, its role is more complex than just boosting sales of such items. Advertising also contributes to both consumer awareness and economic growth, and therefore we cannot say that it solely encourages unnecessary consumption.

Teacher’s feedback:

Overall, your essay would get an IELTS Band 8 as it presents a well-reasoned argument, supported by examples and demonstrating a high level of coherence, lexical resource, and grammatical accuracy.

Task Response: Band 8
You addressed the task effectively and presented a nuanced view of the role of advertising. The essay states a clear position that acknowledges the complexity of advertising’s objectives beyond merely increasing sales of non-essential products. This is evident in the statement, “I believe that while advertising does play a role in influencing consumer behaviour, its objectives are manifold and not solely confined to this aspect.” The argument is developed with relevant examples, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
Your essay is well-organised, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, and paragraphs are cohesively linked, allowing for a smooth flow of information. The transition from discussing the persuasive nature of advertising to its informative purposes is smoothly handled: “However, it is also crucial to acknowledge that advertising also serves informative purposes…” This transition effectively links the paragraphs and maintains the flow of the argument, demonstrating strong coherence and cohesion. The overall use of cohesive devices is effective, enhancing the overall clarity and coherence of the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
You demonstrated a strong lexical resource, using a variety of vocabulary accurately and appropriately (“manifold objectives,” “persuasive techniques,” “energy-efficient appliances,” “facilitates healthy competition”). Your precise use of vocabulary enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
Your essay includes a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately and effectively, such as “advertising also serves informative purposes, as it introduces consumers to new products”. Complex sentences are handled well. Your grammatical proficiency supports the clear and articulate expression of ideas.

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IELTS essay, topic: It is better to be unemployed than work in a job you dislike (agree/disagree)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 19 March 2024

This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Croatia.

Some people say it is better to be unemployed than work in a job you dislike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The dilemma of whether being unemployed is preferable compared to working in a job that you dislike is a topic of considerable debate. Personally, I believe that while finding joy in work is important, the benefits of being employed outweigh the downsides of a less-than-ideal job.

Those who advocate for unemployment instead of a dissatisfying job often highlight a belief that life is too short to spend in a job that makes one unhappy. They argue that the free time spent out of workforce can be better used searching for a job that matches one’s interests and values, or even pursuing further education to improve job prospects. This perspective suggests that freedom from a disliked job offers mental peace and opens doors to exploring new opportunities that could lead to a more fulfilling career that better aligns with one’s passions or values.

Conversely, the importance of having a job, whether it is fulfilling or not, cannot be understated. Employment offers financial stability, crucial for meeting our basic needs and maintaining a desired lifestyle. It also provides structure, social connections, and a sense of purpose, all of which are integral to one’s overall well-being. Besides, every job is a learning opportunity, offering valuable experiences that can pave the way to a better position in the future.

In my opinion, while the pursuit of fulfilling work is important, the benefits of being employed should not be overlooked. Having a job provides financial stability and can also be a stepping stone to better opportunities, therefore compensating for the lack of enjoyment.

Teacher’s feedback:

Overall, your essay would get an IELTS Band 8 for the reasons outlined below.

Task Response: Band 8
You’ve effectively addressed the task, presenting a nuanced view that acknowledges the complexity of the issue. Your balanced discussion, particularly the acknowledgment that “the benefits of being employed outweigh the downsides of a less-than-ideal job,” directly addresses the essay task with depth and insight.Your position is clear and well-supported throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a different aspect of the argument, and a coherent conclusion that summarises your viewpoint. The use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs is adept, ensuring the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with precise use of language to discuss the topic (e.g., “financial stability,” “mental peace,” “desired lifestyle”). You successfully convey nuanced arguments using a range of vocabulary without repetition, demonstrating lexical skill.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay showcases a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately. You employ complex sentence forms effectively such as “Those who advocate for unemployment instead of a dissatisfying job often highlight a belief that life is too short to spend in a job that makes one unhappy.” The accuracy and variety in your grammatical constructions contribute significantly to the clarity and sophistication of your writing.

Submit your essay for correction and find out how to improve your Writing score.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of Band 8