IELTS Letter, topic: item left on the bus

Write a letter to a bus company saying you have left something valuable on the bus and tell them what to do if they find it.

Dear Sir/Madam,

The reason I am writing this letter to you is because I have left my bag in your bus which I took. It was on Tuesday 5th of August 2008 at around 3:00pm. The bus station that I board the bus was at Jalan Pinang (bus no 55) and got down at Jalan Tujuan.

I have tried to locate the bus and the driver but was unable too. It is a brown bag with some samples of costume jewellery of my company. There are 165 pcs of it in the bag. Its the last set of samples that I have. With out the samples its impossible for us to show to our customers.

If you have found it could you please call me at 03 5192 6541 or email me at sch@hotmail.com and I will arrange to pick it up from your office.

Looking forward to hear from you.

Yours faithfully
S. Chua

This letter needs some work. It covers the task and has the right structure. However the structure of the sentences needs some attention as well as the accuracy of expressions (see comments underlined in blue for more details). Overall, looks like a Band 6.5 letter.

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