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IELTS essay, topic: Children should be engaged in paid work, agree or disagree?

In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

The issue of whether or not children should be engaged in some paid work has sparked a heated debate. While some argue that having some employment experience is conducive to a child’s learning and development, I contend that it would bring harm to the child’s and learning.

First of all, a workplace designed for adults normally child-friendly facilities. Desks and chairs are too high for a child; the light switches are installed on the walls unreachable children; also emergency training and facilities such as phones are only provided to adults. Furthermore, various hazards such as polluted air and chemical fumes are still produced in factories and farms. Undoubtedly young people would suffer in such workplaces.

Also, children would find it frustrating when they are not properly inducted before starting a job. A child working in a cement factory would feel a setback when he could not get immediate support while struggling with the procedures of recording different raw materials that required by the job. Further, without sufficient support, a child’s misunderstanding or inappropriately communicating with adults would only disappoint him and prevents him from active learning and interacting with other people.

To conclude, a child’s paid employment experience would lead to a negative impact on their health and active learning. However, recognizing the importance of children’s learning and their awareness of responsibility, it is advisable to encourage them to be involved in some volunteering opportunities where they can meaningfully learn and interact with other people with sufficient care and support in place for such jobs.

This is a good essay. There are only a few errors (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows corrections), but otherwise this work seems worthy of Band 7.5 or 8. Remember to always proofread your essay before submitting it. Keep up the good work!

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IELTS essay, topic: Should people spend a lot on weddings and birthday parties?

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Throwing parties can be expensive. While some people do not find these fancy parties worth what they cost, others believe parties are important to both individuals and the society.

People choose to throw parties for a number of reasons. For starters, parties can make better teams. Project kick-off parties are good opportunities to break the ice and help team members to know each other better. Victory parties create a sense of success and . Companies do not see parties as of money and allocate budget to support such events. Moreover, parties often leave good memories. From our own experiences, we all have happy memories of our birthday parties when we were little. Every family has great photos on family parties in their album. In addition, contrary to what some people believe that spending on parties is a waste of social resources, parties actually create value, either by employing people in the party planning business or by offering people better party experiences.

The popularity of parties, however, causes some tension in the society. Parties are hard on introverted people who find themselves uncomfortable in parties. This is a clinic symptom which psychologists call “social anxiety disorder”. There are other ways to celebrate important events that may have greater value for their cost. For instance, companies could send out gifts after successful projects and parents could take their children on family trips to celebrate birthdays.

In my opinion, while a party is a form of social event that brings many benefits to individuals and the society, other choices should also be considered, either to cut spending or to relieve the stress of those who are not fond of parties.

This is a very good essay. Other than minor inaccuracies there are no problems (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows corrections). Seems to be worth IELTS Band 8.

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