IELTS Essays – Band 8

This essay topic was seen in a recent IELTS test in Nigeria

Some people think it is better to make more money rather than have free time, while others prefer to have more free time rather than making money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sample Band 8 Essay

In modern-day society, time and money are two essential commodities that people strive for. Oftentimes, we find ourselves caught in a dilemma between working hard to make more money and spending time doing the things we love. Some individuals argue that making more money is better than having free time, whereas others value free time more than money. Personally, at this stage in life achieving a financially sound position is more important to me than leisure.

People who believe that making more money is better than having free time argue that money brings freedom, security, and opportunities. In today’s world, everything from basic necessities to luxuries requires cash. Those who don’t have enough money cannot purchase the things they need. Financial stability also brings a sense of security, which can be liberating. Moreover, having more money opens up new opportunities for higher education, career advancements, and travel experiences.

On the other hand, people who prioritise free time over money argue that wealth doesn’t equal happiness. Numerous studies have shown that individuals who have more free time tend to enjoy better mental and emotional well-being. Free time provides an opportunity to engage in recreational activities, hobbies, and enjoy the company of our loved ones. Just as importantly, free time allows individuals to engage in self-care activities like meditation or exercise, which can lead to an uplift in mental and physical health.

While both sides have valid points, it is essential to note that a balance between work and leisure is crucial. Working excessively to accumulate wealth can have adverse effects on both physical and mental health. Therefore, the debate between having more money or free time is a subjective matter that varies from person to person. It is crucial for individuals to evaluate their priorities, ambitions, and limitations and come up with a personalised balance that fits their lifestyle.

Teacher’s comment:

This is a great example of an IELTS Band 8 essay.

Task Response: The essay effectively addresses the task prompt by discussing both views on whether it is better to make more money or have more free time. The writer presents relevant arguments for each perspective and gives a personal opinion at the end. The response remains focused on the topic, and the writer provides a clear position.

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay maintains a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion that gives a personal opinion. The ideas are logically presented within paragraphs, and appropriate linking words are used to connect sentences and concepts. There is a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some advanced vocabulary effectively. The essay uses phrases such as “financially sound position,” “sense of security,” “mental and emotional well-being,” “recreational activities,” and “self-care activities.” These phrases are used appropriately and demonstrate a good level of lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay displays generally sound grammatical control, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. While there are some minor punctuation issues, they do not impede communication or comprehension.

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This essay topic was seen in a recent IELTS test in Pakistan

Some people argue that sports are essential for us. Others think of sports as an activity for leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sample Band 8 Essay

Sports have always been an integral part of human society, dating back to ancient times. Today, the importance of sports is still widely debated. Some people argue that sports are essential for our physical and mental wellbeing, while others view sports as a leisure activity. Personally, I think of sports as a very important aspect of life and make an effort to be active on a daily basis.

Those who argue that sports are essential for us believe in the numerous benefits that sports offer. Firstly, sports help us to maintain a healthy lifestyle. By engaging in sports regularly, we can keep our bodies in good shape, improve our cardiovascular health, and gain muscle strength. Physical exercise helps reduce the risk of diseases such as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. Moreover, sports can provide relief from stress and anxiety and contribute to better mental health. The social aspect of sports also promotes teamwork, leadership, and communication skills, which are valuable in personal and professional life.

On the other hand, some people see sports as an activity for leisure time. They believe that sports should not be overly emphasised in one’s life because of the limited value they provide, and that people should engage in sports only as a form of entertainment. In their opinion, sports should not be considered as a necessity but rather as an option for enjoyment.

Although there is some truth in both views, I believe that sports are essential for us. Firstly, the physical and mental benefits of sports cannot be ignored. A healthy body and mind are fundamental to the overall well-being of an individual, and sports provide an effective means of achieving both. Moreover, sports can teach us important life skills such as teamwork and communication, which are crucial in both personal and professional life.

In conclusion, sports can be seen as essential for our physical and mental well being, as well as a means of personal growth and development. While some may view sports as a leisure activity, I strongly believe that individuals should engage in sports in order to lead a healthy and fulfilling life.

Teacher’s feedback:

This essay is a solid example of a Band 8 level writing.

Task Response: Band 8
You’ve effectively addressed the task by discussing both views on the importance of sports and clearly stating your own opinion. Well done for arguing that sports are essential for physical and mental well-being, and providing a balanced discussion before concluding with your stance. This approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
You’ve organised your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion that summarises your opinion. Your use of transition phrases like “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” effectively guides the reader through your argument, enhancing the essay’s overall coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
You’ve demonstrated a strong command of vocabulary, with terms such as “integral part,” “cardiovascular health,” “muscle strength,” and “overall well-being.” This varied and precise vocabulary helps to convey your ideas clearly and effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
You’ve showcased a wide range of grammatical structures accurately. Complex sentence structures, such as “By engaging in sports regularly, we can keep our bodies in good shape,” contribute to the clarity and sophistication of your writing. Your grammatical accuracy is consistently high, which supports the effectiveness of your argument.

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