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IELTS Essay, topic: Leisure time activities

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind, such as reading and doing crossword puzzles. Others feel that it is important to give one’s mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss.

As we are human we naturally need to rest leisure time to stress of work and everyday life. In fact, every individual need to do what they want and . Personally, I prefer to be active during this time because . Moreover, people are free what they do their leisure time, and nobody can say what is the best.

Some people want to relax after their day of work. These people may prefer to relax by watching movies, reading or getting a massage. People who have a such as doctors, teachers and builders may choose these types of activities. If you are a doctor, you may feel that you want to let your body rest after work and you don’t want to do a five kilometer run after work, because you are already physically tired.

On the other hand, some people choose to be active in their leisure time because they do . For example, these people many spend all day sitting on a chair and their work. At the end of a working day, they a backache, and all of their body tired so they need to stretch their arms and improve their health by doing some activity such as going to the gym or swimming.

To sum up, the important thing is that people want to stay healthy by choosing what is best for them. In my view, the wrong way is to stay at home in your leisure time if you have a job.

This essay needs work. It has the right structure and covers the task. However there are many poorly structured sentences, many of the sentences are too simple and don’t have enough complexity, there are grammatical errors and some prepositions are use incorrectly (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a Band 6 – 6.5 essay.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of band 6

in our
recover from the
this expression is confusing
confusing expression, may be you mean “because it feels better”?
to choose
in
activity
physically active jobs
not move much on their jobs
doing
might have
might become
sitting

IELTS Essay, topic: Critical factors to the development of a country

Some people say education is the only critical factor to the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

One the one hand good education is a highly recommended skill in the developed countries, on the other hand of many people in regions of poverty. But what makes education key factor for the development of a country
We must acknowledge that education is something that we all need. The differences are just what we learn. Mostly the limited educational horizons of poor and less educated people have more to deal with their personal situation than with problems of bigger effects on a country. Attending school is sometimes too expensive and it does not feed a family.

Nevertheless there must be a reason for education. For me it looks like some countries have realized that Education is the key for the globalization process. If we take India for example we can see that a change in the educational system had changed the economy of the country. country has changed from a poor region to a high potential for IT knowledge.

In regard to this fact of education seriously and offer it to a wide range of people. Spending money education is the key tippy title=”for”]to[/tippy] a new future effects on the economy and social life. All in all I agree with the importance of education for the development of a country. Less knowledge leads to poverty and . Learning and Knowledge is Power and an investment in the near future and therefore it has to be an official task.

This essay covers the task. It has a good structure, however the conclusion paragraph is too big – consider splitting it into 2 paragraphs, with the last one being the conclusion. As to the structure of sentences, there are several sentences that should be rephrased (see comments for suggestions). The grammar also needs some attention (see underlined in blue comments for details). Overall, this looks like a band 6.5 essay.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of band 6

it is the biggest wish
the
Instead of a question, try statement: “There are several reasons that make education a key factor…”
That
area
Rephrase (to improve sentence structure): Government must take the power… and offer…
on
This expression is confusing
 

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