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IELTS Essay, topic: University money better spent on libraries or sports

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to their sport activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree or disagree?

Yes, I do feel that universities should have an equal budget for their libraries as well as sport activities. It is our general belief that a good player can not be good student and hence we restrict our children’s sport activities at college level. Moreover, an academic degree has much more value than sport activities which naturally compels students to focus more on their studies than their interest in sport.

Most of the universities keep sports at of their priority list, good players do not get enough facilities and to improve their skills and eventually they their interest.Universities can play substantial role in shaping this upcoming talent by providing good trainers and which is otherwise too expensive to afford. Also it will attract other students sports and inculcate importance of physical fitness in them.

Universities should produce in all fields rather than only concentrating on progress of scholars. Hence, I feel that universities should allot equal amounts of money to as well as sport activities.

Your essay too short, the introduction is good, as is the first paragraph but you must offer more arguments regarding why you agree or disagree. There are many spelling, punctuation and article errors. The essay is easy to follow but has the appearance of the writer running short of time.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of band 5

“for” is missing here
“a” is missing here
the bottom
therefore,
equipment, because it is an uncountable noun
lose
“a” is missing here
equipment, because it is an uncountable noun
to
geniuses
libraries

IELTS Essay, topic: Modern medicine helps to live longer

Modern medicine helps to live a longer life. Do you agree?

The modern medicine is very important for living a long life. It on new technology. . Also modern medicine is human body. . Therefore I agree that the modern medicine to live longer.

First of all, the modern medicine can prevent incurable diseases. Doctors can find some diseases very early. Then doctors can give suitable medicines to patients. New modern doctors . Also intelligent people in the world live a long life modern medicine. That is very important in the human society because their creative things are coming with them and they can help others for a longer time when they are living .

, old population is increasing in the country. It is country’s economy and third world countries. But old people are very important in human society because their experience definitely helps to . ‘Experience is better than qualifications’ However, old people are living a long life; it is helping others to live a long life because we can get advice from them and they are covering our culture and society.

Moreover, modern medicine is being addictive for some people, so that they cannot live without medicine. They should take medicine all their lives. Also modern medicine is very expensive. Therefore most of poor countries modern medicine and it has taken a commercial shape, also it is depending on money. In the modern medicine human kindness. People who have money can take modern medicine. But indigenous medicine has well human friendly shape. It does not depend on money.

To summarize; in my personal view, modern medicine is helping to live a long life . Modern technologies are being supported to find diseases very early. So doctors can take immediately. Therefore, hesitate to agree with the above mentioned statement.

Your essay has several confusing sentences, where your meaning is unclear.

You mix advantages and disadvantages of the modern medicine in one paragraph when you should divide them – have advantages in one paragraph and disadvantages in another.

If you agree with the statement, you should have 2 paragraphs supporting your opinion and one supporting the opposite opinion, in your essay it is 2 against and 1 for.

The structure of sentences is not very good here and so is your grammar. Try reading more essays of Bands 6 and 7 to see how you can improve your writing. Read more tips in IELTS-blog and “Ace The IELTS” or “Target Band 7” e-books.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of band 5

it depends
confusing sentence
being absorbed very quickly by
It helps people to get back to normal health
helps
equipment helps
it is not clear what you mean
thanks to the help of
a longer life comfortably
Besides
seriously affecting the
is especially bad for
live safely and plan new projects
can not afford the
there is no place for
with comfort
incurable
corrective actions
I do not
 

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